8.12.25

PRINT HELLO WORLD

TUES 8.12.25

I will worry about making this journal section a little prettier later, but for now, I think I need to just write what I want to so there's something here. I am so bad about idealizing how something should look to the point I won't start it - which in my opinion is the most frustrating thing about myself that I want to change!!! I can't even count how many projects are in the liminal "when I'm good enough to make it" bin. Or even worse - the "this didn't get the response I hoped for so let's delete it" pile...

And on that same note, I have been thinking about my "dream game project" that I've worked on on and off for several years now... several years as in like, a decade, which is a little embarrassing when I phrase it that way. At this point it is like a bucket list item to actually finish it. That should be an easy bucket list item crossed off! Come on now!

On one hand I want to pick it up again and finish it for real (actually for real) this time (this time actually for sure), but I feel like I'm just wasting my time. Everytime I stop working on it I fall a little deeper into that "I really can't finish anything" pit, and my confidence might already be a little too low to go deeper in there!

Now for a more positive note... well its hard to think of one right now. I am stressed about a million things going on in my life right now, and the worst isn't the ones out of my control - its the ones in my control! I don't want to do shit right now but there is a neverending list of shit-to-do! And I have to do them!!!

-bye!!!!! D